How To Alchemize Negative Thoughts Into Positive Thoughts

I devoted a whole chapter to thoughts in Thank God For Depression. (clicking it will take you to Amazon)

I’ve used this practice so many times for depression and anxiety, and I’ve found it very helpful and empowering. 

Anytime you are confronted with a thought that feels icky or uncomfortable, you can pause and ask these questions, practicing what I call “thought alchemy.” 

Here are 6 simple steps for how to alchemize negative thoughts into thoughts that serve you.

1. Pause

When a mean thought comes in, simply get curious. Pause, take a deep breath, and slow things down.

2. Write it Down

Get out your journal, write the thought down in it’s simplest form or say out loud the thought that is uncomfortable for you.

3. Fully Accept The Thought

First, welcome the thought. Give it a warm hello, a big yes. Allow and accept it. You can even thank it for coming. Don’t resist any of it.

4. Gently Question It

Notice and gently examine the thought: This might be the most important step, look at the relationship you have with the thought.

Questions To Ask Yourself

Where do I feel this thought in my body? 

What’s the tone and voice of this thought? Which emotion is behind this thought? Is there anything I am unwilling to feel?What am I resisting? 

What led me to this thought? (i.e., what was I doing or thinking right before this thought?) 

What is the belief behind this thought? 

Who is saying this? Is this thought coming from an older part of me? Or someone else completely?

Is this thought true? (Would my closest friend say this about me or agree with what it says?) 

Is this thought something I would say to a close friend or loved one? 

What do I stand to gain by believing this thought? 

(Where does my life go, and where does this thought lead me if I believe this?For example, say the thought is, “I’m not good enough.” It can lead you to turn down a job or romantic opportunity because you don’t feel worthy.) 

5. Alchemize The Thought. 

Now that we have this info, here is where we can transform the thought. 

What thought could I replace this one with that would better serve me? 

AKA: What is the opposite of this thought? How could I turn this into an affirmation? (For example, “I’m fat,” becomes “I’m perfect as I am, and I love my body.”) 

What does this thought have to teach me? 

What is the lesson here? 

6. Thank It

Lastly, thank this thought for coming into your life with whatever its message was, and thank it for being a teacher. If you don’t need it, say “Thank you, I’m not in need of your services.” 

I’ve found it’s really helpful to journal on this. When I was dealing with the “kill yourself ” thought, I kept a bullet journal page of every time it came up and notated where I was, what I was doing right before it came up, and a positive thought to replace it with, like, “There is a purpose for my life.” 

This gave me empirical data. “Oh, I’ve had the ‘kill yourself ’ thought in bed in the morning five times this week. Maybe I need to get out of bed.” Or, “This thought flares up when I’m around this person. Maybe I need to spend less time with them.” When we alchemize our thoughts, we can start to adjust our lives to better help and serve ourselves. 

Every Thought Is a Teacher 

We can see thoughts as teachers.They clue us into our belief system. They tell us where we need work and how we can better take care of ourselves. When we watch our thoughts, they can show us where we are stuck, reveal our self-limiting beliefs, and teach us how we can better take care of ourselves when we’re suffering from depression. 

When we pause to watch our thoughts, we can rewrite the stories. 

The biggest beauty in this work is that you start to change the relationship you have with your thoughts. They are no longer terrorists but teachers because every thought is a chance to learn more about who you are, what you need, and how you can better take care of yourself. Instead of hurting you, thoughts will guide you. 

I write about this process, and more on how to handle negative thoughts in my book, Thank God For Depression.

What Is Success In Music?

*This piece Originally appeared in Tape Op no 160.

If there was a Grammy awarded for comparing one's life with others and then suffering about it, I'd be a superstar by now. I have a long history of picking up a magazine, such as this one, comparing my life and my "success" with who is featured in it, and then feeling awful about myself. I'll have thoughts like: "I wish I had their studio.” Or, “Their career is better than mine. Look at their achievements; what have I done? What's wrong with me that I don't have what they have?" This sucks more than a spilling your protein shake on the console. With the internet, it's easier than ever to compare people's success and lives with our own. I'm writing this because I have a feeling that I'm not the only one who does this. Comparison, success, and art is a weird dance.

I'm here to ask the deeper question behind comparison – what even is success in music and art?

Where, when, and how do we find success as an artist, producer, engineer, or mixer? There are as many answers as plug-ins, and I've been asking myself these questions for the past ten years.

There's the Western idea of success. Success is external and achievement based – stream counts, number of fans, radio play, money, awards, and fame is what "matters." If we don't have those things, we might feel there is something wrong with us. I bought into this. Out of a desire to make my life mean something, I pushed hard until my band was signed, toured the world, had a Top-5 rock hit, played on Conan, and performed at festivals for tens of thousands of people. However, because of depression and anxiety, I never once felt that I’d made it, or that I was successful. I couldn't enjoy it, because when I hit my "peak," I was still upset I wasn't in a bigger band. Instead I found myself once again being dragged along by the demon of comparison. I felt like a unworthy fraud, and only focused on everything I wasn't. Instead of fixing the painful shadow parts, fears, and insecurities of myself I wasn't willing to face, the fame, money, and success only compounded and intensified them. Now I was depressed and anxious with fame and money.

The whole "I'll only feel successful when I get there" never works. If success is always somewhere outside of yourself, you will never find it. Because, if and when, success does come, it's never going to feel like you thought it would. Although your external situations have changed, your internal world is the same. Not to mention, what if your idea of success doesn't come? Then you're going to spend your whole life feeling you were not enough, or that you are a failure. Brutal.

Years later, I had some unusual experiences around success that broke my brain and made me rethink the whole concept. At a medicine ceremony, I spoke with an Indian guitarist who said his teacher in India could play guitar and control the weather. Using sound to control the elements? Excuse me? A week later I bought a sound bowl. Hearing it drone was one of the most beautiful and powerful experiences of my life. The vibrations and frequencies felt like I was witnessing a universe being created and destroyed. Months after, I began to play music in ayahuasca ceremonies. People told me my voice helped them reconnect with a past loved one, or that the songs made them feel guided and safe on their journeys, filling them with protective light. These things began to feel like success to me. (I know this may sound far out, and that's my point – they made me question my spoon-fed notions of success.)

Who’s really to say what's more "successful," or what has more value of one thing over another? A song that has a million streams and wins a Grammy, or a song that only two people hear yet it touches them deeply? A song that someone sings as a prayer and devotion alone in their room, or a song sung to a stadium of thousands in service of financial gain? A mixer who gets paid well, yet is miserable? Or a home studio mixer who finds daily micro instances of joy in their growth, discovery, and process? I've met guitar students who can barely play a chord, but they find so much joy when they learn a new song. More joy than artists I know who can sell venues out. Success is subjective. Orientation and the relationship we have with success is everything.

So, what is success as a musician and artist to you? What does achieving it, or lack thereof, mean about you as an artist or person? When will you feel successful? Is your idea of success about getting or serving? What's behind your drive to be successful? To make people love you? To feel important? To survive? To prove your life matters? To cover up emotional pain you don't want to feel? To leave a legacy? To ego trip? Is success the outcome or the path? Are you waiting to feel successful until after you’ve reached a certain goal? What if you are already successful right now? What if success is an inside job, and has nothing to do with external factors? These are questions only you can answer. There's no right or wrong here, only what rings true to you. Whatever your definition of success is, you will live and die by it.

Here's one – when was the last time you felt joy in music? Do you remember the last time music gave you meaning? Go do that. Chase it. If you can't find it in music right now, find it somewhere else and come back.

For me, success is about enjoying myself in the moment to moment path of being an artist. Success is an inside job. I'm successful when I decide that I'm successful. I'm realizing how important it is to pause and celebrate "small" incremental wins – like finding a zing of bliss when I get a mix right, understanding how to use a new plug-in, or writing a song. These are huge moments. I know if I miss these moments, I won't be able to cherish the "big" ones when they come, and I'll get to the end of my life feeling empty, as if none of it was enough. I'd be waiting for some moment that never would come.

To get way too heavy for a recording magazine, we cannot take our material achievements with us to the next plane. We eventually have to give everything up. So, what's left? That's for you to find out. Do we spend our lives chasing? Or do we realize all the success and beauty has been right here all along, inside of us? There's always a success and joy to celebrate, here and now.

Three Tips For Instant Depression Relief

Here are three quick tip for immediate depression relief to boost your mood.

If you’re looking for a map out of depression, take my 21 Day Video Course - Break Free of Depression.

I've use these a lot, and they work wonders. They're like having mini ceremonies and rituals throughout the day.

1. A Quick And Radical Physical State Change.

Jump in an ice bath, take a cold shower, sprint, do jumping jacks, scream into a pillow.

Do anything that is going to quickly shift you into the here and now.

It can be any activity that rapidly gets you out of your head and into your body.

Note the words quick and radical. I'd also go so far to say find something that is immediate.

Doing yin yoga or a walk won't cut it, because there is still room for your brain to have a say in what you think.

We need something radical.

When you're in an ice bath, you don't have any time to think about how sad you are, or how wrecked you think your life is. You're probably just thinking, "Oh Christ, This water is f*cking cold. I'm dying!"

You're in your body and with the physical sensations of the present moment. Not in your head or stories.

There are also a ton of physical benefits to the above mentioned activities, which I won't go into here.

2. Ask Yourself The Two Most Important Questions

After the state change, find a room alone, sit down, turn your phone off, take a few deep breaths, do a body scan, and ask yourself two questions

WHAT AM I UNWILLING TO FEEL?

and

WHAT AM I RESISTING?

These two questions will get to the root of how you're feeling and what's actually going on.

More importantly when you know what you're feeling down about, you will know how to respond, and take better care of yourself for what you need next.

3. Head, Heart, and Gut Meditation

Now that you have an idea of what you're dealing with, we can take action.

Still sitting, eyes closed, you're going to ask the same question to three parts of your body.

That question is, what do I need right now?

Ask your head, "head, what do I need right now?"

Pause and listen for answers.

Then ask your heart, "heart, what do I need right now?"

Pause and listen for answers.

Then you ask your gut, "gut, what do I need right now?"

Pause and listen for answers.

The radical thing is the answers will be very different.

The answer from your head might be very different than what your heart or gut share with you. This is totally normal.

When we do these practices, depression is a gift because it teaches us how to take better care of ourselves.

We get to know ourselves on a more intimate level.

We also learn how to listen deeply to what we need, and more importantly, what we are lacking.

Be gentle with yourself as you practice this.

If you're looking for more tips on depression, my first book Thank God For Depression is out now.